NOTA BENE: Not long after this posted, Cuomo started backpedaling on lockdowns! I take no credit, though, as I think Trump's concession and the hatred that Bills fans showed him were enough to wake him up. News that vaccines were being trashed in New York didn't help either. Anywho ...
Maybe you once believed in lockdowns but have kept an open mind, looked at the available data and commentary, and concluded that even if lockdowns extend the lives of some of the vulnerable elderly they are killing too many young people and maiming too many small businesses to be allowed to continue.
Or maybe you would not support lockdowns even during a Bubonic Plague or are sick of wearing a mask of dubious sterility every time you need to interact with another human being. Or maybe you figure that with asymptomatic spread less likely than a false positive Covid test (PCR or rapid), excess mortality not being terribly high and not easily parsed into Covid and lockdown deaths, and a large number of vaccination vials available but unused, the pandemic, if it ever was an event worthy of the name, is over.
Whatever the reason, you are probably wondering what you can do to restore some semblance of 2019 in 2021.
I have urged people to sue, sue, sue but apparently few have taken that tack, perhaps because Americans believe that most judges are in cahoots with the political parties that sponsor them. I agree that the election of judges is not a good idea but suing the government would be difficult even with nonpartisan judges on the bench.
The weight of the evidence is so far against masking and social distancing, however, that I think Private Deep Pockets could be brought to heel right quick by even the lowliest ambulance-chasing pettifogger. It’s discrimination to force the scientifically and statistically savvy to wear a formerly illegal piece of clothing into a store and the damages are the differences in price between the retailer’s everyday low prices and the next best alternative … for every item purchased since March in many locales.
If the biggest risk for getting Covid-19 is being in a confined space for a long period of time, why did stores reduce hours and limit entry and exit points? Why do airlines schedule more flights than they can handle, virtually ensuring tarmac delays? The list goes on and on.
Go class action and some serious money, for the lawyers anyway, could be made while reminding corporations that if they concentrate solely on that which is seen (Covid-19 and Karens), that which is unseen (the costs of imposing malarkey social distancing policies on smart people when not forced to by local governments) might still nip them in the bottom, the bottom line that is.
You might also try rioting in the name of social justice, specifically on behalf of all those poor people (literally) killed by lockdowns, suffocated, as it were, by ineffective state policies. Rioting was really popular last summer and can still be comfortably done in the same general way in Hawaii and the southern states. Instead of Black Lives Matter and Defund the Police, though, riot in the name of All Deaths Matter (Whether Caused by Covid or Lockdowns) and Defund Fauci.
In colder climes, I suggest reviving the custom of hanging and burning politicians in effigy. To be clear, this entails no physical violence, just dressing up a dummy to look like another dummy, say one of those many politicians who have broken their own social distancing rules, hanging the dressed up dummy from a tree, and lighting its ass, or other convenient body part, on fire. A really big dummy made of slow burning materials, like old tires, can keep hundreds of protestors warm for hours even in northern Minnesota. Just keep the flames away from the ice fishing sheds, you betcha.
Burning effigies constituted high sport in early America, right up there with bear baiting. After bringing back his unpopular eponymous trade treaty from Britain, for instance, poor rich John Jay claimed that he was burned in effigy in so many places that he could have crossed the country at night by the light of the fires.
I don’t recommend some other early American protest tactics like tarring and feathering or pulling down houses. Even when done over the clothes instead of the naked body, tarring and feathering entails physical violence that could easily get out of hand and leave permanent scars. And most of the cost of a destroyed house will fall on the public, if a government building, or an insurer, if a private one. Plus, presumably, houses are better constructed now than in the eighteenth century and somebody might “accidentally” confuse pulling down with burning down, especially on a cold winter’s night.
A more modern way of protesting at low cost would be to join a flash mob. One protesting mask restrictions at a Target in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in September looks fun. I just turned fifty two so I have no idea how one goes about creating or joining such an event but it seems innocuous enough. Just remember to buy the costume for the dummy you intend to burn (safely of course) that night when there.
This is all a bit cheeky, of course, but only because nonviolent alternatives are so few. Few people with much skin in the game dare to get arrested because that leads to fines, anal rape, and/or the inability to get a job, license, mortgage, etc. in the future. You might even get put on a list as a subversive whose taxes obviously stand in need of serious auditing.
Some worry about the formation of re-education work camps but such camps are soooo, like, twentieth century, not really efficient at all in a modern knowledge economy. Best to allow the subversive, liberty-loving types to keep their jobs but to overpay their taxes out of a rational fear of invoking the horrible wrath of the IRS. Enslave people physically and you might attract unwanted attention, unless you enslave Chinese Muslims of course. Enslave people virtually and it’s all good, no matter what.
And why should the government invest in re-education camps when seemingly millions of Twitter trolls stand ready to do the work, just for the fun of it?
The root problem is that, except for one day every two, four, or six years (and even then with caveats), we apparently have no recourse against our leaders, even if they behave very badly. They are personally responsible for nothing and no court or police force will stop them from breaking the Constitution they swore an oath to uphold, so they do as they wish, when they wish, to whom they wish. Try to explain to others that the politicians’ policies are irrational and their social media minions now censor your message.
But I would like to see Silicon Valley or New York State Troopers try to stop tens of thousands of New Yorkers from expressing their First Amendment rights by burning thousands of effigies of Governor Cuomo some night soon. Just don’t threaten to burn or hang the actual Cuomo, or anyone else, and don’t break any local ordinances and you should be able to enjoy a nice catharsis. And for goodness sake don't storm any capitol buildings! May I suggest Friday the 15th as the moon will then be a thin waxing crescent?
And not to pressure any nationalists out there but did you hear what happened in France over New Year’s? A whole town held a rave while holding off cops for over a day. One world for that: EPIC! Did I mention they were French?
In any event, Google may turn its satellites away from the effigy spectacle but news of it will spread. Sure, some old clothes and ropes will be destroyed but it will be nothing compared to the lives destroyed by heedless, needless Covid lockdowns. And fear not being accused of snow-flakism, as effigy burning is not mere virtue signaling, it is anger signaling. Don’t buy a copy of Cuomo’s ridiculous book specifically for the event, but if one happens to be on hand, it would really round out his effigy’s policy clown costume.
Finally, be sure to flash mob Facebook with your pics at midnight so we can all revel vicariously until The Fact Checkers pull them down on the pretext that New York Times staffers locked down in Manhattan claim nothing much really happened and that Cuomo is the best Duce ever.
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